FWB: That’s Just My Sister!
By Alesha Elbert (Layy)
So I was on Facebook the other day and saw a status that was discussing the topic of guys having girls for friends. In a nutshell, the post had several girls tagged and the guy was stating that any woman that wants to be apart of his life, relationship wise, will have to respect those ladies, whom he tagged, because they’re his friends. I’m not even going to lie, I was very heated reading this because the post continued by stating that the woman must be insecure if she allows those friendships to annoy her. So… y’all already know, it’s about to go down.
First and foremost, everyone is entitled to their own opinion because that’s a right that no one can take away from you. So right now, I’m about to hit up the soap box *claps hands together*. We all have a bae, boo, bestie, ride or die, homegirl or homeboy that we know isn’t going to leave our side. There is a strong possibility this person became your friend because you’ve had some type of intimate relationship with them or they’re actually blood related to you. And sometimes you may step out of the friend boundaries and do some things that people who are “just friends” aren’t supposed to do. I mean, it’s not hurting anybody… UNTIL one of you decides to get in a serious relationship with someone else.
I will not say that you should cut that friend off, because you already know that’s not going to happen. But if you’re in a relationship and you have friends of the opposite sex, you need to help your partner understand that the relationships with your friends are ONLY friendships. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you still have to set the tone that this person is your friend, nothing more, nothing less. If a person gets jealous or angry, yes, there is a possibility that your partner could have self-esteem issues, but there is an even stronger possibility that they feel disrespected. Our generation is full of social media and negativity that sometimes people want to find a way to destroy one another instead of lifting each other up. If your partner does not feel comfortable with your friendships, talk to them. You know you want to remain friends with whomever it may be, so to spare heartbreak and arguments, let them know what’s up. ‘Cause you really don’t want this to end up happening…
And another thing, if you are the person in the relationship who have several friends of the opposite/same sex, would you want your partner to have just as many friends of the opposite/same sex? If you know it’s going to offend you, don’t expect them to compromise for you. That’s just the bottom line. Trust and what you can handle needs to be established from day one and both of you need to stick to the deal, feel me?
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